Bittersweet Melodies
by rubberduckie16
Summary: My take on what happens after 8x09. Mostly revolves around the Teddy storyline. Title based on Feist's song, Bittersweet Melodies. Multi-Chaptered. Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Imagine, helping him study?" Teddy rambled on. "Augh, I wish I could be there beside him right now."

Owen nodded and listened. He hasn't spoken to Teddy in so long. Now he can see how in love she really is. He saw the life in her. He saw the Teddy he knew; a Teddy he hasn't seen since he chose Cristina. Henry gave Teddy her life back. He wanted to tell her that her husband is gone, but he decided to let her have this one. He decided to let her be happy for a little bit.

"I really hope he changes his mind about this whole med school thing. I just want to enjoy him as much as I can, you know. I can finally have life and I can finally be happy."

Owen's heart was breaking. Her eyes sparkled. His pager started going off. He thanked it silently. He could use a little distraction.

"Uh.." Owen said, reading the page. "I gotta go. It's about that ambulance thing." He cleared his throat.

Teddy looked up at Owen "Oh. Okay. Well, if you get a chance, can you check in on Henry?"

Owen nodded and left the OR. Everything that could go wrong went wrong under his watch. Being the chief sucked.

Derek walked back into the OR and his colleagues were still working on the child.

"Any news?" Arizona asked.

Derek sighed and paced around the OR. "It seems like Murphy's Law is taking effect in this place right now"

Mark raised an eyebrow. "What's happening out there?"

Derek shook his head "Teddy's husband was brought in-"

Arizona looked up. She liked Henry. He made her best friend really happy "Oh no. Is he okay?" She said, interrupting Derek midsentence.

"He didn't make it"

Arizona's heart sunk. "Shit." She sighed. "Do you guys still need me? I'm gonna go check on Teddy"

"Teddy doesn't know yet…."

Jackson sighed "She's still operating on Laura"

"Oh god" Arizona muttered "I just want to give her a huge hug right now."

"Owen is watching her like a hawk." Derek said. He started to get them updated with what's going on; how Cristina was the one who operated, without knowing who the patient was, how the Chief opened him up. He sighed. "This is a bad night for everyone"

"Bad night to be married, huh" Mark said, slight attempt to keep the mood lighter "We lost contact with your wife." He said to Derek and glanced to Arizona "Your wife botched a surgery. Teddy's husband just died on Hunt's wife's watch."

"Are you trying to be funny?" Arizona said, slightly irritated. "None of these is funny"

"I'm sorry. I'm just trying to keep the mood light. It's depressing in here."

"I feel so bad for Teddy" Arizona shook her head. "She's been so happy lately. I can't even imagine the love of my life dying, while I'm somewhere else saving someone's life. I don't know what I'd do"

Derek groaned in frustration "I have to go out there and see if Hunt has any news on Meredith"

Teddy was scrubbing out hurriedly after her finishing up on Laura. She can't wait to hold Henry's hand, as promised. April Kepner joined her in the scrub room.

"Good job tonight, Kepner" She said with a soft smile.

The resident smiled back at her. Kepner was a great help to her. It made things go faster. She knew Kepner wasn't really that interested in Cardio, but she appreciated every initiative Kepner showed in that OR.

She looked up and saw Owen walk into the scrub room. She smiled at her friend, who looked so stress.

"Hey, thanks for looking after Henry. How's that ambulance thing, anyway? Did anyone find them? I really hope they're okay."

Owen just blinked a few times, somehow relieved that Teddy's done with the surgery because he couldn't keep this from her anymore, but at the same time dreading the moment when he will actually deliver the news that will ruin his friend's life. He doesn't even know how to start.

"Kepner, can you give us a second?" He asked the resident. Kepner nodded and walked out of the scrub room.

Teddy could sense that something wrong is happening. She furrowed her brow at her friend. "Owen…"

"Teddy…" He sighed

"You're scaring me." She said as her smile slowly faded.

"The tumor in Henry's lung eroded right through the pulmonary artery and there was nothing Cristina or Webber could have done. There was too much bleeding. It was too late. He lost too much blood. They did everything they can."

Teddy stood there, numb, trying to process the words coming out of Owen's mouth.

"You're…. you're joking, right? You said he was fine. You said his stats were good."

"I—I couldn't tell you earlier while you were in surgery." Owen said. He stared at his friend, who was just standing there. He was expecting her to break down or yell or hit him. "Teddy…" He took a step closer to her, and she immediately took a step back.

"He died on the table?" She said, barely a whisper. "You said he was in post op. You lied to me, Owen."

"You had a patient open on your table" Owen said "I'm really sorry, Teddy"

"Where—Where is he?" She asked, her voice cracked and tears started to pool in her eyes.

He reached his arm out for Teddy's hand. "Come on, I'll take you to him."

She blinked the tears away and took a deep breath. "Owen, you're messing with me right?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head "I'd never joke about death, Teddy."

Death. It sounded so harsh in Teddy's ear. "I—Henry—my Henry's dead?" Owen's words were starting to register. Tumor. Eroded. Pulmonary Artery. Dead.

Henry took another step closer to give Teddy a comforting touch, but Teddy took another step back. "I'm sorry, Teddy. Come on, I'll take you to him"

Teddy nodded and walked out of the scrub room with Henry by her side. They walked towards the OR next door and Henry was lying there on the table.

"Oh, honey" Teddy whispered as she walked towards an expired Henry on the table.

Owen kept his distance and stayed inside the scrub room. He watched as Teddy stood by Henry's side. She didn't sob. She didn't wail. She didn't touch him. She stood there and looked at his face with tears were just streaming down her face.

The Chief walked into the scrub room and stood next to Owen.

"I found Cristina. She locked herself in an on-call room" the Chief said silently "How's Teddy?"

"I don't know. I can't tell" Owen said honestly. Both their gaze fell on the blonde standing in the OR. "She barely made a sound."

They watched as Teddy looked up at saw Webber. She made eye contact with him, her face expressionless.

"She's never going to forgive us" Webber muttered

"You did everything you could" Owen said.

Teddy stood there, staring at her husband's corpse. She still couldn't process it. It's a bad dream.

She'll wake up from it.

This isn't happening.


	2. Chapter 2

I was literally sobbing as I write this chapter. I still am.

And THANKS to the reviewer who remembers Fix You! Haha.

Anyways, this is going to be a multi-chaptered, Teddy-centric fic. I wish I could bring Henry back to life, but he's gone, but won't be forgotten. Teddy will find happiness, I promise. This could go so many ways: Teddy/Owen, Teddy/Mark, Teddy/OC. There might be some Teddy/Henry flashbacks. I'm not sure which direction this will go. So please review, and I'd love to hear (read) your feedbacks!

Also: I have a LOT of Teddy/Henry fics on my phone that I started months ago. Hopefully I'll get to finish some of them, but I just can't right now. Sadface. I miss Henry.

By the way, this chapter is filled with Arizona/Teddy friendship. I wish they show this relationship more on the show.

**Chapter 2**

Teddy wiped the tears streaming down her face. She reached out for his face and stroked it lovingly.

"I'm here, Henry." She whispered. "I love you so much." Her voice started wavering as tears threatened to fall again. He looked so at peace. She was jealous. He won't get to feel the pain. She, on the other, will eventually feel every little bit emotion. She hasn't yet. She can't accept the fact that she will be walking out of the hospital without her husband by her side. She will go home to an empty apartment. She refused to accept the fact that he's dead.

She can stand there forever and stare at her husband's face.

"No more pain, honey" She continued to whisper "I'm so sorry I couldn't be there. I'm so sorry I couldn't do more. I'm so sorry I let this happen, honey"

It was then when she started to let out a whimper.

"Wherever you are now, I'm sure it's a better place. Wait for me, okay? When it's my turn to get there, your face better be the first face I see." Tears cascaded down her face "Honey, what am I going to do without you? I'm alone. This isn't fair"

She sighed. "Goodbye, Henry" She chuckled bitterly and looked around. There's no use in talking to a lifeless body. Henry's not there anymore.

Henry's not there in that body. Henry's not in the OR. Henry's not anywhere.

Henry's gone.

She stood straight and wiped her tears. She walked out to the scrub room, passing by Webber and Owen without saying a word, and walked down the halls of Seattle Grace towards the Attendings' lounge to gather her stuff.

* * *

><p>She got to the Attending's lounge and sat on the couch. She was planning on going home, but she couldn't. Not yet. She hugged her knees and buried her face on them. She stayed like, not moving, not sleeping, nothing. A few tears fell, but it didn't feel like she was crying. She lost track of time and couldn't remember how long she's been sitting there. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't feel.<p>

She heard the door open, but didn't bother to look up to see who it was. She suddenly felt someone's presence and a hand on her back.

"Teddy" Teddy knew the voice really well. She peeked at her friend who gave her a warm, comforting smile.

"Hey" She said softly and smiled sadly. "Henry's gone"

Arizona nodded. "I heard. I'm so sorry to hear that, hon" She leaned in and wrapped her arms around her friend. "How are you?" She asked after a few moments, as she lets go of Teddy.

"I don't know." Teddy said, "What do I do now?" she sighed. "Do I even contact his sister? What do I do with his stuff? What do I do?" Teddy asked Arizona "I don't know what to do"

"We'll figure that out tomorrow. But right now let's just get you home. You need to get some sleep." Arizona said, rubbing circles on her best friend's back.

"I don't want to" Teddy said, barely above a whisper. She couldn't find the energy to talk, or the will to form words. "I can't. Not yet. I just want to sit here. I don't want to move"

"Okay" Arizona said "That's okay. We can sit here"

"You don't have to sit with me, you know. You can go home to your family. I'll be fine." _Go home to your family_. It hurts Teddy to say those words. Henry was her family. She has no one to go home to. She forced a sad smile, her tears were at the brink of falling from her eyes again, and turned to look at her friend "Go home. I'll be fine. Your daughter's waiting for you"

Arizona wiped the tear on Teddy's eye and tucked her hair behind her ear. "She's with Callie and Mark. They know where I am. I'll sit here with you"

Teddy nodded "Okay. Thank you. I really appreciate it."

Arizona smiled. "Anytime. I'll always be here. You can sleep on my couch if you'd like."

She shook her head. "It's fine. I wouldn't want to impose. I'll go home after awhile, maybe clean up"

"I can go with you" Arizona said carefully. She didn't want suffocate her. She really just want to help as much as she can "...if you'd like. I'm off tomorrow, so I can help you sort everything out."

"Sure" Teddy said, surprising herself. She didn't really want company, but maybe it won't be so bad "I have scotch at home, so we can do that too."

Arizona was surprised at Teddy's answer. She was glad she wasn't shutting people out, but Arizona could see that there was something unusual about this. Arizona was waiting for Teddy to breakdown, because that seemed like a more normal reaction. She figured maybe she hasn't processed it yet. She's glad that Teddy's letting her sleepover. She doesn't want Teddy to be alone when it hits her that Henry's gone.

"So, that scotch. Do you want to get on that now or do you want to sit here and not move a little bit longer?"

Teddy laughed softly "let's sit here for a little bit longer"

They heard a knock on the door and Arizona looked up to see Owen peeking in, while Teddy stared at her hands. "Hey, Teddy."

Teddy kept on staring her hands. She can't look at Owen. Not yet.

Arizona and Owen shared a telepathic look, as if saying that Arizona's got it covered. Owen nodded and closed the door, leaving Teddy and Arizona in the room.

"There's a difference between lying by omission and blatantly lying" Teddy said quietly, picking on her nails. "I would've understood lying by omission, but he lied. I understand what he's trying to do, but… I just can't talk to him. He didn't have to stand there in my OR and tell me that my husband is doing well. He could have waited. He could have not said anything."

Arizona was unsure of what to say. She just nodded at her friend, understandingly. She mimicked her friend's position, and sat next to her for a little bit longer.

* * *

><p>Arizona woke up on Teddy's couch, an empty bottle of scotch on the coffee table, while darkness enveloped Seattle. She didn't drink more than a glass and she really wasn't sure when she fell asleep, but she was surprised that Teddy emptied the bottle. She looked around Teddy's living room for signs on Teddy and she saw a light gleaming from the kitchen. She walked over and saw Teddy hands and knees on the floor, scrubbing.<p>

"Teddy?" She said softly, trying not to startle her friend.

Teddy jumped a little and looked up at her friend "I was… I was thirsty so I went in here, and I saw the blood" She said and choked a sob. "There was blood everywhere and I just can't leave the blood—Henry's blood—on my floor." She rambled drunkenly. Tears were streaming down her face.

"Honey…" Arizona said, trying to calm Teddy down

"There's just blood on the floor, on the sink, everywhere" Teddy sobbed "Henry….Henry's blood." She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head violently. "Blood doesn't bother me. I see blood every day. But there's blood in my kitchen. My husband's blood on my kitchen floor!"

Arizona took the rag off Teddy's hand and pulled her friend into her arms. Teddy sobbed while Arizona held her until she's calmed down.

"Shhh" Arizona coaxed and rocked Teddy back and forth "It's okay, the blood is gone."

She pulled Teddy up and walked her to the couch, where her friend sobbed continuously until she fell asleep. She placed Teddy's head on her lap and ran her fingers through her hair. Teddy will be fine. Eventually.

She picked up her cell phone and called Callie. She didn't care that it was 4 in the morning. She just needed to hear her voice.

"Hey" Callie answered groggily.

"Hey. I love you" Arizona said "I'm sorry I'm not there tonight"

"Teddy needs you. It's okay" Callie mumbled, half asleep. "How is she?"

"Finally broke down. She just fell asleep" She sighed "I don't ever want to lose you, Cal"

"You won't. I'll always be here. Now try to sleep. I love you."

Arizona smiled at the sound of Callie's voice. She hung up and looked at her best friend sleeping on her lap. You could see the trouble in Teddy's face, and she wished she could chase it away. She took a moment and silently swore to Henry that she will take care of Teddy.


	3. Chapter 3

I really don't know how I feel about this chapter. I really liked the idea while I was writing it, but as I read it, I'm feeling overly critical about it. Anyways, I hope you guys like it. I really like the last part of this chapter though.

GAHH. I'm just going to post it, before I delete everything. Just read it, and review and let me know how you feel about this chapter.

Spoiler for this chapter: _**HENRY**_.

**Chapter 3**

Three days have passed since Henry's death, and Seattle Grace is moving on and things are starting to go back to normal, well, most things. For the past few days, no one has seen or heard from Teddy besides Arizona. Truth is, Arizona hasn't really seen Teddy. She texts her once in a while, and Teddy answers but doesn't really give full details.

"Robbins!" Owen ran after the blonde pediatric surgeon, who was skating around the hospital.

"Hey" she stopped and turned to the chief of surgery.

"Have you spoken to Teddy lately?"

Arizona shrugged "Well I texted her this morning and she said she's sorting things out."

"How is she?" Owen pressed

"I don't know, Hunt" She sighed. "She suddenly doesn't talk to me. She texts. She doesn't pick up my calls. She doesn't answer the door when I come over. She just texts me. I feel like I'm starting to overwhelm her. She's probably not even in Seattle. I'm so close to literally waiting for her leave her building and stalk her"

The last time Arizona saw Teddy was during Henry's cremation, where Teddy stood and didn't shed a tear. After that, Teddy told (forced) Arizona to go home, that she will be fine. She hasn't seen Teddy since.

"Have you tried talking to her?" She questioned him.

"I called. She didn't pick up" Owen shrugged "I'm sure she's still mad at me. She'll never forgive me"

"She will eventually. She knows why you did it. She just can't wrap her mind around it. You lied to her. That's all she can think about. She finished that surgery and she had that false hope that she'll see her husband alive afterwards." She sighed. "Just give her some time. She'll turn around"

Owen rubbed his hand on his face in frustration "Can you please check on her after work today? Just to make sure she's okay"

"I'm on call. I can send Mark, if you want"

"Is that a good idea?" Owen asked.

"Mark is Teddy's friend too. I'm sure it won't hurt to try" Arizona shrugged and skated away from Owen.

* * *

><p>Mark stood in front of Teddy's door and rang the doorbell for about the third time. Still no answer. He could hear a faint sound of music coming from the inside.<p>

"Altman!" he said, banging on the door. "I know you're in there."

Still no answer.

"Altman!" More banging. The music from inside stopped and the door opened a few moments later.

Teddy appeared, disheveled, a little sweaty, with a glass of wine in hand.

"What?" she blinked a few times when she realized it was Mark. "What are you doing here?"

Mark furrowed his brow. "You haven't been answering people's calls. I was sent here by Arizona"

Teddy made a face "Oh. Come in" she said unsurely and held the door wider, motioning for Mark to come in.

He walked in and saw storage containers filled with stuff on the living room. He turned to Teddy with a questioning look. "Packing? Are you moving?"

Teddy wiped the sweat from her forehead and took a deep breath. "No. That's Henry's stuff. Putting it in storage until I figure out what to do with them"

Mark plopped down on the couch and eyed Teddy carefully. He noticed the bottle of wine on the coffee table and the glass in her hand. He could see the bags under her eyes, and the fact that she looked like she just ran a marathon.

"You okay?" he asked casually.

She shrugged and walked over to the couch and sat a good distance away from Mark.

"No" She said with a chuckle "Well, I ran out of tears, I think. My husband is cremated and I don't know what to do with his ashes. It's on my kitchen counter" she said and chuckled "I haven't been to my kitchen. Well I went there for a little bit to get this." she raised her glass and took a sip from her wine "Wine?"

Mark shook his head. "You've been avoiding everyone"

"I'm talking to you aren't I?"

"Teddy..." Mark started

"I just got back." Teddy said. "I've been staying at Henry's old apartment these past few days. He still has some of his stuff there. It still smells like him. I need to clean that out because his landlord needs to rent it out by the end of this month."

Mark nodded, listening thoughtfully as she rambled.

"I mean, most of his stuff are here, but you know, the couch, the bed, other things. So I finished cleaning that yesterday. Now I'm sorting things out here." She rambled on.

"Do you need help?" Mark asked, motioning to the boxes.

She shrugged "Sure"

"Have you eaten?" He asked and watched her think about it. "When was the last time you actually had a meal?"

"I had this nut bar thing this morning." She said. "I forgot to eat. It slipped my mind."

"Come on, let's get something to eat" Mark said.

Teddy sighed. "I appreciate you helping, I really do, but no thanks. I still have a few more things to pack."

"Don't make me drag you" Mark said and gave Teddy that irresistible smile. "Come on, I'm starving. We'll get something fast then I'll take you back and help you pack"

"I don't want to change and leave and eat, Mark. I feel gross right now"

"You look gross" he joked, and Teddy shot her a look "Fine, we can order in"

Teddy sighed and rolled her eyes. "You're relentless. You're buying"

Mark let out a laugh "Fine. How does Mexican sound?"

Teddy shrugged "Sounds fine. There are menus in the kitchen. Just go over there"

"You want me to go to the kitchen alone, where your dead husband is currently residing?" he said, and a second later wished those words didn't come out of his mouth. He watched as Teddy's expression changed and he held his breath waiting for her reaction.

"Don't be such a wuss." Teddy said. Mark released the breath he has been holding. "He's not there. He's not anywhere." she said emotionless, which surprised Mark.

"I have the Mexican place's number on my phone. What do you want?"

"Taco salad" she said and she got up and walked towards her bedroom, while Mark placed their order.

After hanging up, Mark looked around her apartment and saw how everything was so clean and spotless. He noticed a picture of Henry and Teddy on the mantle and Teddy and a girl, who he assumed was Teddy's best friend- the one who died in 9/11 right next to it. He looked back on Teddy and Henry's picture and smiled sadly. They both looked so naturally happy, and now he's gone, just like that. He heard her footsteps from behind him and he turn around and saw Teddy dragging out a box from her room.

"...And that's the last batch of Henry's clothes. Well, he has a few more in the laundry, but I'll worry about that later" she said and sighed heavily. He noticed that she changed her shirt and doesn't look as disheveled as she did awhile ago. "So... They sent you here?"

"They just want to make sure you're okay. You haven't been answering their calls"

Teddy nodded. "How's everything at Seattle Grace" she asked as she walked towards the couch, sitting where she was moments before.

Mark walked towards the couch and occupied the other end of the couch. "The same. Torres' patient isn't suing" he looked at her carefully. No one really mentioned the patient Teddy was saving when her husband died, and he wasn't sure how she'd react.

She brought her wine glass to her lips and took a sip. "Good" she licked her lips and crossed her leg.

Mark couldn't read Teddy's face. "Are you mad at Torres?"

Teddy raised an eyebrow and shook her head. "People make mistakes. I saved the patient. I cleaned up their mess. I did what I had to do." she sighed and took a big gulp of wine, emptying the glass. "I mean, I was mad, but I had a duty." she shrugged and reached for the bottle of wine "Are you sure you don't want any?"

"I could go for beer. Do you have beer?"

"Yeah, but that will require you to go to the kitchen, where my dead husband is currently residing" she said snarkily with a teasing smile.

Mark could see that Teddy is starting to get tipsy. He wasn't sure if he should stop her, especially since she hasn't really eaten anything.

"Are you really scared to go to my kitchen?" Teddy asked, chuckling a little.

"You're scared to go to your kitchen" Mark pointed out.

"I got home that night and my husband was standing by the kitchen sink, coughing up blood. I don't go to my kitchen, not because I'm scared. I don't go to my kitchen because I'm constantly reminded that my husband was in my kitchen coughing up blood." She pointed out. Her voice wavering a little, and anger was a little evident.

Mark nodded, unsure of what to say.

"Now get up and go to the kitchen and get a beer, wuss." Teddy said, smiling a little, stretching her leg and kicking Mark lightly on the knee.

"You are so bossy" Mark muttered and got up to walk to the kitchen. "You need anything in there?"

"Nope"

Mark ventured to Teddy's kitchen and saw an urn on the counter. He pictured Henry standing by the sink. It couldn't have been easy for Teddy. He walked into the fridge and got a beer for himself and a bottle of water for Teddy. He knew she needed to rehydrate, whether she like it or not.

He got back to the living room and saw Teddy sitting there, completely zoned out. "Here, I got you water. Drink it." he said, breaking her thoughts, and handed her the bottle. Teddy looked at him and blinked a few times, took the bottle, and placed it right next to the bottle of wine.

He sat back down on his spot silently, unsure of what to say next. His phone started ringing and Teddy just watched him fish out the phone from his pocket. He looked at it and saw Arizona's name flashing on the screen.

"Yeah?" he answered. His eyes on Teddy, watching her watch him.

"So?" Arizona asked on the phone, waiting for a report.

"Everything's fine. I'll talk to you later" Mark said quickly and hung up.

Teddy furrowed her brows "Arizona asking about me?"

Mark smirked at Teddy "Of course. She's in her Mama Bear mode"

Teddy nodded. "You can talk to her, you know?"

Mark nodded "I know."

The doorbell interrupted them. Mark got up to answer it, knowing it's the Mexican food delivery guy. He paid the guy and walked back to the living room and placed the bag of food on the coffee table. He handed Teddy her salad and got his own food and sat back down.

"Okay, so," Teddy started as she tucked her leg under her "You and Little Grey got back together yet?"

"No" he shook his head and took a spoonful of rice in his mouth.

"Why not?" she questioned. "You love her, she loves you. She's not with Avery anymore. You're not with that eye doctor."

"I don't know" Mark shrugged

"What do you mean you don't know? Do something about it!" Teddy scolded "Before it's too late!" she added "Look at me and Henry. I could have spent so much more time with him if I weren't so busy dating freaks from the Internet, or spending time with Andrew. I could've spent that time with Henry. Do you want that to happen to you? I mean, I'm not saying that Lexie is going to die because she's not and she's healthy. But we take things for granted." she took a breath "We take people for granted"

Mark just looked at Teddy, surprised at her sudden outburst.

"Just talk to her" she said and took a mouthful of salad. "What you and Lexie have shouldn't be taken for granted. Don't be a coward, Mark"

Mark listened to Teddy's words. She had a point.

"You don't want it to be too late." she said. "Believe me"

Mark simply nodded as they finished their meals in silence.

* * *

><p>Teddy ran out of things to do after she forced Mark out of her apartment. She decided that maybe its time for her to actually get some sleep. She stood by the bed and stared at it. The last time she slept in it, Henry was by her side, he was enveloped in Henry's arms, and she could feel Henry's heartbeat. The last time she slept on their bed, they made love the whole night. Now, Henry won't be there to keep her warm. She figured that she couldn't keep on sleeping on the couch, though she hasn't really slept on it because she's been in Henry's old apartment.<p>

She climbed into bed, on Henry's side, and inhaled the scent deeply. It smelled like Henry, and it was comforting. She hugged Henry's pillow tightly and let the tears and emotions she's been holding in go.

_"Mornin', gorgeous." Henry mumbled as she opened her eyes. He was lying next to her with a huge smile on his face. They had spent the might making love and wrapped around each other. They had barely slept but she didn't care._

_"How long have you been watching me sleep?" she asked, a smile matching his slowly spreads on her face._

_"Not long" he leaned in and captured her lips into his. His hands ran down her arm then rested it on her side. _

_"Well, good morning to you too" she said when he pulled away. She licked her lips, then leaned in for another kiss, this time deeper, then she shimmied her tongue and let it dance against his._

_They pulled away from each other to gasp for air. She smiled when he could feel him against her thigh. She was about to lean in for another when Henry pulled away. _

_"You're going to be late" he said _

_"Real quick" she said and ran her hand down his chest. _

_Henry let out a laugh. Joy filled his eyes and smile. God, he was beautiful. Teddy would would never forget that laugh and that smile._

_"You have rounds in like an hour! Besides, it's bring your husband to work day. I get to watch you do that Fontan procedure you've been babbling about" he grinned._

_"We'll be fast. We live like 10 minutes away from the hospital." She said. With that smile, how could she stop herself?_

_Henry laughed "Well, if you insist" he said as rolled over and hovered over her, leaning down and kissing her passionately._

Her phone buzzed on her night table, interrupting her thoughts. She checked to see who it was, and decided to turn her cellphone off. It was Owen.

She still doesn't know when or if she'll talk to him again. She doesn't know if she can trust him again. She doesn't know if she'll have their friendship back. All she knows is he lied to her and she's not ready to forgive him yet.

Well, she knows she will talk to him eventually. She's a forgiving person. But she doesn't forget. How could she ever forget?

One day at a time. She survived today. Tomorrow is another day.


	4. Chapter 4

Please review, pretty please? I get inspired by your reviews. It's really what feeds my imagination. :) ugh I miss Henry. (if I finish some of the fics I wrote when Henry was still alive, would you guys read it?)

Anyways, enjoy this chapter.

**Chapter 4**

Teddy laid in bed, million thoughts flowing in her head.

The way Henry smelled.

The way Henry laughed.

The way Henry smiled, how his eyes glowed.

The way Henry lightly snored when he's exhausted.

The way Henry holds her.

The way Henry hooks his arm around her neck and pulls her closer to him just so he can whisper "I love you"

The way he says "I love you."

The sincerity in his eyes.

She was starting to realize that she'd never get to see or feel any of that. She suddenly couldn't move. The tears blurred her vision, but she can't find the energy to wipe them.

_She sat in bed, back against the headboard, her arms wrapped around her legs, hugging it tightly, tears were falling from her eyes. _

_She heard their front door open, but she didn't make any effort to move. _

_"Teddy?" she heard Henry call out. _

_She couldn't find her voice to answer._

_"Honey?" _

_Their bedroom door opened and Henry emerged to their room, still sweaty from the gym._

_"Hey?" he asked, concerned, and ran towards her. He cupped her face with his hands, wiped her tears, and kissed her forehead "Honey, what's wrong?"_

_Teddy shook her head. She can't talk about it. It's been ten years._

_The screaming._

_The planes._

_The smoke from the towers._

_The smell of smoke and carnage._

_That eerie silence that enveloped the city after the towers have collapsed._

_The hours she frantically called her best friend to make sure she's okay._

_The moment she realized that the one constant in her life, her childhood best friend, is gone._

_She heaved and choked a sob. Henry climbed on their bed and held her close to him and tucked her head under his chin. She sobbed on his chest and clung onto his shirt._

_Her husband, without needing to say a word or knowing what was going on, was the greatest comfort she could get. He understood that she couldn't talk. He knows there's something wrong. He just held her, and that was good enough for her. _

_He dropped a kiss on the top of her head and held her tightly until the tears and the sobs subsided. She pulled away from him like nothing happened and walked to their bathroom and got ready for work._

_She previously warned him that these things could and will happen. She warned him that he'd never understand. He simply nodded and said, "I'll be there. Don't worry."_

Now, he's not here to hold her when she's having a breakdown. There's no one to hold her. No one is there to wipe the tears.

She simply closed her eyes and thought about the happy memories they had. She could picture his smile. Damn that smile, she chuckled.

_Teddy leaned by the kitchen counter in her tip toes, trying to reach a glass on the cupboard. She could feel her husband's eyes on her. She sighed in frustration and turned around to face her husband, who was sitting by the table in the kitchen, coffee in one hand and newspaper in the other._

_"Well, are going to help me? Not everyone is as tall as you."_

_He smiled. Damn that smile. She thought. _

_"Henry!" she whined and threw a dishrag at him._

_He chuckled. "There's a reason why I like to put the glasses up there. I like the view when you try to reach for it"_

_"Pervert"_

_Henry got up and walked towards her, grinning. "I can help, but you'll have to pay" he said and pinned her against the counter._

_She smiled and snaked her arms around his waist. "What kind of payment do you accept?"_

_"Well, being a pervert and everything..." he said, stressing the word pervert, with a huge smile on his face, wriggling his eyebrows._

_Teddy laughed. His smile kills her. His smile turns her legs into jello. _

_She doesn't know what she did to deserve him._

_He leaned down and trailed kisses on her neck._

Oh god, those lips. Those kisses. She missed them.

The sex. It wasn't just _fucking_. Sex with Mark was undeniably good, but that was just sex. Sex with Henry was passionate. The way he stares deep into her eyes. The way their bodies are entwined and in sync. Sex with Henry wasn't just sex, it was making love, which made it better than any other kind of sex she's had with any other man.

The way he takes care of her.

The way he pleases her.

She'll never have that again.

Over the past three days, she busied herself so she won't have time to think of Henry. It's too painful to think about losing someone that means too much to her.

Death isn't a stranger to her. She lost a lot of people who matter to her over time: Her best friend, her parents, her friends in the military. Henry's death is different.

She barely spent time with Henry. She still can't completely wrap her mind around the fact that he's really gone. _He'll walk into those doors again and hold me while I cry_. She's not ready to let that feeling of real love and real happiness go, that feeling of being loved and being taken care of.

She blinked the few tears away and nuzzled her face into Henry's pillow.

Then comes the anger. She was mad at herself for not being able to do more. She wished she could fix everything.

She wished she got home sooner.

She wished that they didn't have a fight, so he didn't have to leave.

She wished that he coughed up blood right then and there, so he would be surrounded by doctors.

She wished that he showed symptoms earlier.

She wished he wasn't sick at all.

Fucking tumor.

Fucking Pulmonary Artery.

The more she thought about it, the aggravated she got at everything.

She was mad at herself for convincing herself that he was going to be fine.

She flipped her shit when it was just a simple device insertion procedure, but she was so convinced that he was going to be fine after a bronchial laser resection. She was aware of how big the tumor was.

She was mad that she had to be pulled away to clean up someone else's mess.

She was mad at Owen for lying.

She was mad that the one person who truly cares and loves her is gone.

But she can't go back in time. The only thing she can do now is to move forward.

Time pass, seasons will change, she can't do anything about it.

She can't stop being mad at herself, because she couldn't control the situation.

She just want the pain to end.

She doesn't know if she fell asleep, but the next thing she knew, the sun is slowly rising. She really doesn't know what to do with herself anymore. She got up, took a shower, and got ready for work. She tried to look as presentable as she could. She tried to hide her puffy eyes and her red nose. She'll be fine.

She wasn't sure if they were expecting her back anytime soon, but she can't just sit at home and wallow. She walked into the hospital and other staff just watched her. Some of them whispered, so she just kept her head down. She raced as fast as she can to her office so she could change. She went into the cold, dark room and flipped the light switch. She sat on her chair and took a deep breath. She saw a picture of her and Henry in the corner of her eye. She flipped it face down and muttered "Sorry, babe." She took another deep breath to compose herself. She's ready.

She changed into her scrubs, put on her coat. She's ready to face reality.

She knows that the first thing she needs to do is talk to Owen—professionally, at least. He was her boss after all.

She rounded the corner and saw the man she was looking for staring the OR board.

"Hunt" she said firmly, not showing any emotions, as she walked towards him. He turned around, a surprised (or confused) look on his face.

"What are you doing here?" he asked

"I work here." She answered. She was straight to the point. Why did she need to explain herself?

"I wasn't expecting you back so soon"

"Well..." she said, her arms out "I'm back"

"How are you?" he asked, and she could see the sincerity in his eyes.

"Listen" she put her hand up, obviously not in the mood for chitchat. "I understand that Goldman is scheduled to my surgeries today. I'll be around finishing my paperwork. I just came to find you to let you know that I'm here. If you need anything, a consult, a trauma, I'm around. I didn't find you to have small talk or catch up on what I've been doing these past few days. I came looking for you to tell you that I'm here." With that she turned around and made her way to the coffee cart.

This is going to be a tough day.


End file.
